Virtual Daphne and Web 2.0

Last night I had a dream. Strewn on the floor of our living room were dozens of large brown envelopes containing grad school acceptance packets for my daughter. Daphne was leaning toward the University of Michigan and I was doing my best to steer her to Columbia – an easy drive from Boston for a weekend visit.

The reality is that Daphne graduated from Columbia Journalism School in 2002, and hasn't lived with me since going off to college. After working in Virginia and Florida, she moved to Atlanta last week to join her husband, Etan Horowitz.

Daphne reported her own dream shortly after this latest move. Struck and killed by a bus, she was beside herself knowing how grief-stricken I’d be when I got the call from the police.

I’ll admit it. I’d assumed that when Daphne and Etan bought a home, it would be closer to Boston. At the same time I’m a parent who firmly believes you’ve got to “follow the job,” and have always stressed self-reliance.

When Etan got a great offer at CNN International, I assured Daphne I supported her decision to give her notice at the Orlando Sentinel, follow her husband to Atlanta, and look for a new job. It was my vote of confidence in her career prospects despite a lousy economy, and a key indicator of my love and approval of my son-in-law.

Still it’s driving me nuts that except for pics in Facebook and a link to the real estate listing, I haven’t seen the home they bought. I know it’s in an eclectic neighborhood just three miles from downtown Atlanta, and has a modern kitchen. 

It’s not that Dennis and I haven’t been invited. A series of professional and extra-curricular commitments will prevent us from visiting much before late March or April. Though I’ve been available for consultations on what type of washer/dryer to buy, where to purchase area rugs, and which alarm company sounds better, I make it a point of not calling so often that my daughter will label me a helicopter parent.

So I’m living vicariously through new media, supplemented by text messaging. Through Facebook I know that she and Etan hosted a Super Bowl party at their new home for some new friends on Sunday. A pic portrayed Daphne with her trademark smile showing off the cupcakes she baked for the occasion. I’m dying to know the specifics of who attended, but asking might peg me as nosey.

I follow Tweets from both Daphne and Etan that tell me what they’re doing. And should I feel a need to pinpoint the exact locales of restaurants and other venues they visit, and vice versa, we all installed the Foursquare application on our iPhones.

But my favorite is ATL Animals, Daphne’s brand new blog. Having experienced a childhood with a large collection of stuffed animals, numerous trips to Drumlin Farm in Lincoln, MA, but no pets, she has long had a gift for writing about animals as though they were people.

On her second day in her new home base, she got inside the Fedex hangar at Hartsfield International Airport to witness Mei Lan, the first giant panda cub born at Zoo Atlanta, being deployed to a breeding center to bolster endangered species in China. Daphne’s blog post provided me with sweet details about Mei Lan’s traveling companions, including a cousin, Tai Shan, born at the National Zoo. It also told me that all giant pandas in this country are considered to be on loan from the Chinese government.

It was Daphne’s follow-up post that hit me hard. She interviewed Dr. Rebecca Snyder, a vet from Zoo Atlanta, to find out how Mei Lan’s parents, Lun Lun and Yang Yang, were faring amid their daughter’s move to China.

Like my daughter, Mei Lan had been “living independently” at the time of her move. Unlike me, Mei Lan’s parents do not seem to be experiencing empty next syndrome.

Recently I received a call from a Facebook friend and professional colleague. He’d seen my post about Daphne’s move and very kindly offered to put my daughter in touch with his son, a communications professional in Atlanta who might have ideas about job opportunities.

I was very touched by his offer, but also by his efforts to assure me that Atlanta is a nice city with everything one would expect in a sophisticated metropolitan area – though different from the New York of his youth and my youth – and that Daphne will be just fine.

Once I get to see Daphne “in real life” or “IRL” as they say on Twitter, I should be o.k.  Of course new media is about two-way conversations. But I’ll admit to using it the same way psychologists use one-way mirrors to observe young children at play.