6 Things I Love About My Husband

Dear Dennis:

I’ve got a few handmade Valentine’s from Papyrus and the Museum of Fine Arts gift shop that I’ll soon be mailing to you both at home and work. We came into each other’s lives as widow and widower introduced at the gym by your friend and periodontist, Steve, back in 1995. I haven’t yet figured out how we should celebrate our upcoming 10th anniversary in March.

But in the meantime, I thought I’d share with you the six things I love best about you:

(1)  Your aesthetic sensibility requires that you make our bed every morning – with the comforter turned back to show its reverse pattern, and all the pillows and pillow shams arranged just so. Yes, that requires that you wake me up on Sunday mornings – even if I might prefer to sleep in for another hour – because you can’t bear to return home from your studio to see an unmade bed.

(2)  You have impeccable taste. Even though I know you would have preferred to stay home last night, you were a good sport about accompanying me to the Coach store at the Chestnut Mall. Of course I’m capable of selecting my own purse. But I felt a lot more confident in my purchase knowing that you identified the one I too thought was most stylish. You then teased me about adding another “schlepper,” or oversized shoulder bag to my collection.

(3)  You have an essential spirit of optimism buttressed by sound practical judgment. Yes, I was a basket case when one week passed and the house in Chestnut Hill hadn’t sold yet. That was in the summer of 2006, right after the real estate market began tanking. But you insisted that no matter how slow the market, there were buyers in need of homes. Your law partner represented me when the house went under agreement some four months later. You were left to do all the handholding with your firm’s most demanding client – telling me as often as I needed to hear it that the deal would go through, but that every deal has details needing to get ironed out.

(4)  You love beautiful things. Even before the closings on the house and the condo we selected in Brookline, you were busy measuring and sketching out designs for each room of our new home. When you began going around with fabric swatches in your pocket, and told me you had ordered window treatments for the many large windows, and also the sofa and chairs I’d admired at Circle Furniture, I got worried. You laughed, saying that even if the deal on the house fell through, the new home furnishings were going to look great.

(5)  You put family first and foremost. Your three children, their spouses, and your three grandchildren are the loves of your lives. You are also a very loving step-dad. Never will I forget the time you insisted I take the day off and go down to New York for lunch with my then college age daughter, who seemed in need of motherly love and attention. When Daphne told her then boy friend, Etan, to call her step-dad in Boston, she knew you’d stop whatever you were doing for paying clients to coach him through getting a security deposit back.

(6)  You cherish your independence as much as I do mine. One of your dearest friends enjoys reading books about relationships and observed that you and I represent the “companionship” model. I think he meant that while we spend plenty of time together, we also have interests of our own requiring significant chunks of time spent alone. My relationship with my first husband, Jerry, was similar in that regard, and I suspect your relationship with your first wife, Fran, gave each of you lots of space. You’re just as supportive of the time I spend rowing as I am of your time painting in your studio. But I love to hear the key turn in the lock, indicating you’ve come home.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Love,xxxxxxBonnie