If I Won the Lottery . . .

The picture of Abraham Shakespeare, the dread-locked day pool laborer found dead earlier this week in Central Florida beneath an enormous concrete slab, continues to haunt me. Life changed when this 7th grade dropout who could neither read nor write collected a $17 million lump sum payout three years ago. He bought a BMW and a $1.1 million home in a gated community.

Police suspect foul play in his death, but no arrests have been made. His self-described financial advisor, a blowsy looking blonde, is said to be a “person of interest,” in part because Shakespeare’s body was found behind the home of her boyfriend.

It’s a cliché that money doesn’t buy happiness, and stories abound of lottery winners who ultimately end up in dire financial straits. No doubt a course in financial literacy might help. But I suspect some winners have found it stressful to deal with a change in circumstances, not to mention becoming the object of requests from vultures.

The last time I bought a lottery ticket was several years ago, when a part time receptionist at my office made a point of reminding anybody who walked by her desk to purchase a Mass Millions ticket. This was a woman who probably spent most of her day dreaming of a financial escape hatch liberating her from her job.

So my odds of winning the lottery are zero. But if I did win, I’d stay in the home I own now. After all these years, I finally live in a place I love, and I hate moving. I’d be lying through my teeth if I said I planned to donate the lump sum to a charitable organization pursuing world peace, an end to hunger, relief for all present and future victims of natural disasters, or a cure for disease. But I’d probably continuing giving to charities related to health and education.

At the risk of sounding painfully pedestrian, here are 5 things I would do if I won the lottery:

(1) Visit Family More Frequently. This would include the little weekend trips to visit Dennis’ children in New York and Chicago on those weekends when he is willing to give up going to his studio to paint. Now that Daphne and Etan are about to move into a home in Atlanta, it would of course include visiting as often as they could tolerate our presence. Trips to nice cities invariably involve shopping and fine dining, so the extra pocket money would come in handy.

(2) Take Lots of Nice Vacations. The recent trip I took to Paris with Daphne was a beautiful mother-daughter bonding experience, and I wouldn’t mind making that an annual event. Dennis has no desire to visit Israel, but I would love to go back after more than 20 years, and perhaps I could persuade Daphne and Etan to join me. Asia and South America are places I’d love to see – perhaps on custom designed tours where I could get onsite photography lessons while touring places of interest.

(3) Educate My Grandchildren. I don’t have any grandchildren, but if I do at some point in the future, I’d want my lottery earnings to pay for these kids to have a college education. My grandparents paid for my college with money they earned, and that was very generous of them. I would probably throw in two months away each year at summer camp for these children, if only to provide their parents with some mental health time.

(4) New Workout Clothing. Yes I’ve got enough workout clothing to take me through five days a week of working out or rowing, and then some. Still, when I walk around my really nice, all women’s gym, I sometimes have the feeling I’m the only woman not dressed in performance wear by Lulemon Athletica. Frankly I’m starting to feel self-conscious in the Champion, Nike and Addidas stuff I’ve been wearing for years.

(5) Additional Private Coaching. Dennis figures that after more than 15 years of one on one sessions with a rowing coach, that I would be good enough not to need any more. Trust me, rowing is about striving for perfection, and I’m not there yet. Similarly, after hundreds of hours of private dance lessons in another life, lottery winnings would make me sorely tempted to supplement my Zumba classes with one on one lessons – providing me with the moves to ace the classes. But I suspect the reason I love the classes is that I don’t think too much about whether I’m doing exactly what the teacher is doing.