Renewing Connections at the West Newton Cinema

It’s been more than a year since the supermarket I loved to hate was literally demolished. The Star Market that became a Shaw’s will ultimately give way to a new, bigger supermarket, now under construction. The Star Market holds memories for me: Daphne as a toddler screaming when the guy dressed up as a Planter’s Peanut approached her in the checkout line, and of seeing women shopping in their tennis whites, fresh off the courts at Longwood Cricket Club.

What I miss about the Star Market is not its food or service -- neither of which seemed adequate after I began buying most edibles at the Whole Foods in Newton -- but the opportunity to connect with parents of kids who went to the Baker School with Daphne. Baker is a K-8 elementary school in a suburban part of Brookline, and the Star Market always provided chance opportunities to discuss what we liked or didn’t like about how the school was being run.

People move to Brookline specifically for its schools, and Brookline parents, by and large a well-educated lot, are known as effective advocates for their kids or just picky, picky, depending on whom one asks. So those discussions about building management or which teacher should be requested for the coming year were perhaps as much as anything else a pretext for connecting on a human level.

It’s been more nearly 20 years since Daphne graduated from Baker, but once a Baker parent, always a Baker parent. The images of that sprawling one level, white-washed brick building with the circular driveway, and tennis courts and a nature sanctuary out back, will be forever embedded on my hard drive.

So what happened last Saturday seemed almost magical. Daphne, her husband, Etan, and I were headed to the West Newton Cinema to see “The Soloist.” Passing a café with outdoor seating, I spied two middle-aged women sipping espresso. Almost simultaneously they called Daphne’s name, followed by “Mrs. Sashin.” Also heading to the same movie were Daphne’s kindergarten teacher, Carole Crehan, and her first grade teacher, Johanna Roses.

I didn't recognize Ms. Crehan, whom I remember as a very young woman with a deep tan and long brown hair with lots of blonde highlights. She was always responsive to my concerns, such as the time I questioned whether Daphne and her friend, Kendra, should be permitted to give each other manicures or trade shoes during the school day. Ms. Crehan will retire later this month, proud that she's taught generations of children to share.

Ms. Roses, now doing a post-retirement gig teaching at Boston College, and I tangled with each other, and I recognized her immediately. I frequently pressed her to give Daphne homework and more challenging reading assignments, and she told Daphne’s dad she thought I pushed Daphne too hard. The evening Daphne burst into tears -- after using the worn down eraser on the end of her pencil so hard that she put a hole in her penmanship assignment -- I thought Ms. Roses might be right.

A New Yorker who grew up in Greenwich Village, Ms. Roses went to the High School of Music and Art. Her edginess can be hilariously funny, and I still remember her introducing herself to parents at the first open house, saying that despite her youth, she’d done everything, including sell bathrobes. But I found it off-putting when she asked Daphne’s dad about his occupation. “You must make lots of money,” was her wry response to learning he was a psychiatrist.

She also has a good heart. She told Daphne that after reading about her marriage to Etan in The New York Times last November, she wrote her a note. She said she also enclosed a photo of Daphne and her dad that she’d taken in first grade. Daphne was in her last year at Baker when she lost her dad, and the outpouring of sympathy and concern from teachers, students and parents was overwhelming.

Deeply touched by Ms. Roses’ recent act of kindness, I felt sad knowing that the envelope had not been delivered because we no longer lived in the house we had on the block of the Baker School. She said she’d soon be leaving for her home in Martha’s Vineyard for the summer, but we exchanged cards and plan to reconnect over lunch or dinner in the fall.

Now if only the new Star Market gets completed. When I run into other parents, I can tell them that I ran into Ms. Crehan and Ms. Roses at the movies.